FAQ

If a person willingly goes to someone’s room, house or to a bar is it her/his fault if they are sexually assaulted?
No! This “assumption of risk” wrongfully places the responsibility of the offender’s actions with the victim. Even if a person went voluntarily to someone’s residence or room and consented to engage in some sexual activity, it does not mean consent for all sexual activity. If a person is unsure about whether the other person is comfortable with turning it up a notch, the person should stop and ask. When someone says “no” or “stop” or indicates physically such as by pushing the other away that means STOP. Sexual activity forced upon another without consent is sexual assault.

Once a man is sexually aroused is it true that it is out of his control and he cannot stop until he has climaxed?
No! Forcing sexual activity without consent is choice made by the perpetrator. Rape is an aggressive and violent act. Sex is used as the most effective way of degrading the victim and the act is about feeding the perpetrators need for power and control rather than sexual gratification.

There seems to be violence wherever I turn, on the T.V., in movies and in the news. How does this culture of violence that we live in contribute to sexual violence?
Anytime women are objectified or sexualized, this contributes to a culture that tolerates and promotes sexual violence. Anytime there is discrimination or stereotyping based on race, gender, sexual orientation, or abilities; anytime an excuse is found for why someone is found lacking, not equal or less than; it contributes to a culture that allows perpetrators to see those victims as less than human beings and disposable.

Is the way a woman is dressed or the fact that she is drunk the reason why she is raped?
No! Sexual assault is not the result of the way a person dresses or acts. It is the perpetrator who decides to assault another individual. The victim is not an accessory to the crime. Being intoxicated may make a victim more vulnerable for an assault, but nothing and no one is responsible for an assault but a perpetrator. After all, do we say this about victims of other types of crimes? Do we say to a man who has been mugged – what were you doing wearing that suit? Why were you downtown? What made you get money out of the ATM machine in that location? Didn’t you think a briefcase would signal your availability to a criminal?

A co-worker keeps making sexual comments to me, and I feel uncomfortable and violated. Is that sexual harassment and is it a form of sexual violence?
Yes! Sexual violence ranges from sexual harassment, including unsolicited sexually explicit words or physical contact, to peeping, flashing, oral sex and penetration. Sexual violence is any sexual act without the consent of the victim.

Can only gay men be raped, and are they only raped by other gay men?
No! Heterosexual and homosexual men are raped, and rapists can be heterosexual or homosexual. Men and women are raped as part of an often violent attack; however all sexual assaults are aimed at power, degradation and control.

Can a spouse sexually assault their partner?
Yes! Spouses can and do sexually assault their partners, and it is a crime in all states. Marital status does not give either partner the right to have sexual intercourse without the other spouse’s consent. This includes having sex with your partner while they are asleep or intoxicated. Forcing or pressuring them to perform a sexual act they are not comfortable with is also an act of sexual violence.

Are weapons, such as guns, knives and fists, often used to intimidate rape victims?
No! The offender often uses physical strength, physical violence, intimidation, and/or threats to overpower a victim. More often than actual weapons, perpetrators often uses the victim’s trust developed through their relationship, even short term relationships, to create an opportunity to commit the sexual assault. The offender may have intimate knowledge about the victim’s life, such as where they work, where they go to school or information about her/his family and friends. This enhances the creditability of any threats made by the offender since he has the knowledge about the victim’s life to carry them out.

Do victims usually know their perpetrators?
Most sexual assaults are committed by someone the victim knows. Studies show that approximately 80% of the people reporting sexual assaults knew their assailants.